Back in the Saddle

Probably the worst thing about trying to start writing again is the part where I try to come up with a justification for 1: starting again and 2: quitting in the first place. Over the past couple of months I'd found myself repeating the mantra: "I must return to writing," only to find myself several weeks later reciting the same thing without any movement and now that I'm actually sitting down at the computer to compose a masterpiece I find myself chasing my rhetorical tail trying to come up with a clever and profound way to say, "I got real busy for a while and stopped doing something I really like doing for the sake of watching tv and playing Angry Birds." I even spent about 20 minutes massaging awkward attempts to cram psychosocial theory into an introspective piece about the fear of failure and the difficulty of change, etc etc. Below are some excerpts from those attempts.¹

The reality is, though, that I just kinda stopped writing once I got done with grad school and started working. I got out of the habit, like working out and eating healthy. The only excuse I need to get back into it is: I like it. The only excuse I can think of for why I quit in the first place is: I didn't quit (which to me sounds like an active choice) so much as I just kinda ... stopped? And started doing something else. Writing for me is like one of your favorite recipes that you forget about because you've been too busy to cook for a while and you've just been eating Ramen and pb&j. I don't really need much of an excuse to starting eating the good stuff again, other than "It's good!" I just sometimes forget that it's good because I get all stacked up with other stuff, which is the best excuse I can come up with for why I stopped in the first place. There may indeed be deep-seated and menacing psychological reasons for me stopping (and, conversely, starting again) to write, but seriously. Who wants to read about that on someone's blog?

So if you made it through all of this, the cliff's notes version of the post is this: I'm going to write at least one post/week. Not because I have to but because I like to I just forgot that I like to for a while. So ... GET READY WORLD, IMMA WRITE AGAIN!!!!!

¹Writing (and by writing I just mean communicating) has been one of those things that I've always been doing. Coming back to things is hard; it can be so difficult, in fact, that it can often prevent a return at all. Few things in life are as frustrating than returning to an activity that used to come effortlessly only to find that the skill is not there anymore.Classically, Not just hard because That's why the story of the prodigal son strikes a chord, and that's why the 12 step program makes people do it. It is That's probably not the most profound statement ever made, but cliche as it might be I've found it to be one of the most true statements.