Space Out

Dissociation is augustly defined by Wikipedia as "an altered state of consciousness characterized by partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s normal conscious or psychological functioning." While that might not sound like a ton of fun to you at first blush, and in a clinical context can indicate significant trauma, an altered state of consciousness is the place from which most great art is born. Not necessarily chemically induced, in a state of what I like to call 'constructive dissociation,' artists are able to tap into the depths of their own psyche and retrieve material that connects to a wide audience on a deep emotional level. I heard an interview with the guy who plays lead for Springsteen one time, talking about what its like to engage in a dissociative experience playing in front of tens of thousands of people. Paraphrasing, Lofgren said that during a concert he had the experience of looking down at his hands playing a riff and struggled to convince himself that he had to keep playing the guitar because he felt like if he stopped his hands would continue to play all on their own. He was completely clean and sober, and entirely lost in the music in an altered state of consciousness. The host of the interview rightly elaborated that people chase a similar experience taking drugs, having sex, playing sports or any other myriad pursuits; we are looking for the chance to loose ourselves in an experience, to stop thinking and start being.

For me, one of the most important revelations of the past year has been a change in my Myers-Briggs personality type from ESTP to ENTP, meaning I have moved from weighing data and observables to trusting my 'gut feelings.' This is likely somewhat the result of me practicing psychotherapy for the past several years, but is also at least somewhat associated with me re-discovering who I am and moving past what other people have told me I am.¹ One of the ways that I really enjoy getting lost in my intuitive nature and 'constructively dissociating' is fighting. Boxing doesn't leave time for evaluation or weighing alternatives, for me it is a visceral and thoroughly enjoyable dissociative experience in which I am not thinking about anything at all and am simply present. Very Zen. I encourage you to find that thing for you, and do it as often as possible. Hopefully for you, it doesn't involve pugilism.

¹ I realize that's a somewhat loaded statement, just not one I want to unpack in this blog post. Maybe next week ....