National Pastime

Cinema is the defining medium of the 20th and 21st centuries. With the possibilities available in presentation, manipulating sound and picture together, I have even heard tell of extending the sensory experience by adding smells to the show. In homage to Film, I have decided to post my top five film momments in history. They are, from 5th to 1st . . .

5. The Cliffs of Insanity sword fight in The Princess Bride.

This is the scene that led me to take fencing at Fresno City. The coordination between the music and the fighting, coupled with the fact that it's actually Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin doing all the sword play make it one of the most impressive and enjoyable action sequences of all time for me. So many action sequences in recent movies (as evidenced by the recent Star Wars movies) frame their shots so close and frantic I can't tell who's who and what's what. The far shots of two actors legitimately fencing both physically and verbally set this scene far above others for me.



4. Retrieving the Idol in Raiders of the Lost Arc.

The quenisetial Indiana Jones momment. After navagating his way past the steaming Amazon rain forest, trecherous local guides and a lethal Incan temple, he finally arives at the altar. Hunching over the altar with the sand bag . . . sweating . . . taking out a handful of sand . . . weighing it . . . taking out a pinch. The switch and roll. The smile, the hat cock. All hell breaking loose. This is what being Indiana Jones is all about. Harrison Ford's character was, and in many ways still is, the epitome of masculinity for me. He is the avatar of confidence under pressure, ingenuity, a passion for his work, and plain dumb luck. Of all the fantastic scenes in the trillogy, this is the one which stands out among the others; perhaps it's because it is the first scene in the series or perhaps its because he dives out of the temple, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a boulder, only to find himself face to face with a crowd of angry Hovitos. Either way, it's a great scene.


3. THE scene from The Usual Suspects.

If you haven't seen this movie, STOP READING RIGHT NOW and skip to number 2. If you're still with me, lets agree that this is just a fantastic end to a great movie. When Agent Kujon starts putting the pieces together and it cuts to the limp, the first time I saw it my scalp tingled. Let's be honest and up front about two things: 1. As the anti-Santa, Kaiser Sose is cooler than any of us ever will be and 2. This scene is magical. Limp . . . limp . . . limp . . . straiter . . . straiter . . . confident stride. Damn. That is a man of will.


2. Russel Crow removing his helmet in Gladiator.

When he delivers the 'Husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son' line I'm fairly convinced that Joaquin Phoenix actually wets himself on the soundstage. Talk about tingling scalps, that scene is palpable. I was going to put another scene in from this film as well, but had to self censor and say that there can only be one top 5 scene per movie; it merits mentioning, however, because it was also masterful. The 'busy little bee' scene caused me to loose sleep for about a week after I saw it. Tingly in all the wrong ways.


1. Wendy Peffercorn!

From one of my favourite movies, this is far and away the best scene in any movie I have seen. All the way from 'Shut up! I got a lot on my mind!' to 'Guys, he planned that!' Just priceless. The entire movie is full of great characters, but Squints is by far my favourite and by far the coolest of the Sandlot gang. I may be a tad bit biased since I was an emaciated child with glasses as well, but let us examin the facts. While the Jet did steal home in a Major League game, it was for the Dodgers and he had a creepy child molestor mustache. Squints married Wendy Peffercorn. They had nine kids. I rest my case.


These are my top 5. What are some that I missed?

This Is What I Was Talking About

It's a bit past 'gamboling' but it's something to shoot for . . .

Unacceptable

The brawl between Miami and Florida International University last Saturday was unacceptable, as were the sadly unsurprising comments made by Lamar Thomas. It's not O.K. that men were on the field, swinging their helmets and stomping people like it was LA, 1992. One game suspension against a winless opponent? Laughable. This was assault, as plain as the chin on Leno’s face, and the people responsible should be brought up on charges by the D.A. Is that unreasonable?

I thought Ultimate Fighting Championship was cool. Then I saw a match. The shameless beating of any helpless individual is inexcusable and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Is there any doubt that if this had been caught on tape outside a 7-11 that these men would be in County right now, trying to get someone to post their bail? It’s disappointing how unsurprising the Haynesworth episode was, and in Miami as well as the NCAA’s unsubstantial sanctions, we have a clear and present example of why.

Born a Gamboling Man?

This may come as a complete shock to some of yall, but I am not a dancer. This has not always been true, for I remember in 6th grade when I danced the Salsa with our student teacher in front of the whole school. I have also danced vicariously before, entranced by a scene of innocence and joy. I was visiting a friend of mine's church in Austin, and a small group of 5-7 year-old girls had formed a circle and were simply dancing together during the music in the service. About half way through the set, an elderly lady who looked to be mid-60's got up and danced with them; they were all simple hand movements and smiles and sways, and I was with them in their circle. While there have been some notable exceptions (high school proms, anyone?), I pretty much lost my groove somewhere between that cafeteria stage in 6th grade and puberty. The resurgent dancing shows have not stirred my recumbent inner-Shakira, but an envy for the freedom my youth still remembers has gurgled up the surface this afternoon.

After some cursory introspection, I'm reasonably sure that the only thing that keeps me from dancing more around other people is my pride, and that's a horrible reason to do (or not do) anything. So consider this your memo: I hereby resolve engage in dance-like movements more often around my friends; so go ahead and take those few short seconds to determine whether I'm dancing or actually having a seizure before you call the paramedics.

Dante's Oversite

Dante got it all wrong with his nine layers of hell. There are 11. Level 10 is euphemistically called Nevada. Level 11 is called Lubbock, TX and the Dark Prince's Throne Room is located at Jones SBC Stadium. I have disliked Tech since 2002 when I was adopted into the Fightin' Texas Aggie Family, but after four years of being subjected to their arrogant shenanegens, I really do hope that their football program fades back into obscurity and they start loosing to Rice and Texas State. I hate Tech with the burning passion of a thousand imploding suns, and to make matters worse . . . they keep kickin our ass.

You've Got a Friend

I've got to start out by lauding the virtues of Google Image. Where else could I have found this picture of Kirk hugging Spock? Priceless.

This past Thursday, one of the kids that I tutor gave me a hug. I had just finished my four hour shift and was thinking about what I was going to do that night, how things had gone that evening at work, and a million other trivial things that would and should quickly evaporate as quickly as the vapor in my car's exhaust. And then, there was a Jordan hugging my leg and saying 'Thanks, Micah. Have a good night.' This event would not leave me quite so quickly. It was an unexpected and uninhibited expression of spontaneous emotion that so many of us never experience in the giving or receiving, and it has stuck with me over the weekend.

This event was brought into even more relief Friday morning. I run my dog every M/W/F morning and every morning I see two men in their mid 60's walking and talking together. I often wondered how long they have known each other, what their lives are like, and who I'll walk with every morning when I am 64. This Friday I saw them meet on the street to begin their walk for the first time, and as one approached the other they both smiled, shook hands and warmly embraced. Thier expression of affection, while much less unexpected, was no less uninhibited thank Jordan's impromptu embrace the prior evening. Suffer the little children in all of us to embrace each other.

So get out there, people, and give some love. Expected or unexpected. Just don't call me to post bail if you get carried away.