A question while I take a break for writing myriad final papers: Would you rather have people consistently underestimate you or overestimate you?
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The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn Is Just To Love and Be Loved In Return
4 comments:
I'd rather have people overestimate me. I think we all know this, but I have a hair trigger when people talk down to me. It's__really__hard not to come unglued. My verbal assaults usually come when it seems like someone is talking me down.
Underestimate. Absolutely. Walking in with people saying "Oh, you're ______, we've heard so much about you" just about makes you want to hide in a closet (or at least never write or speak a word which would let them know you're not what the hype is about....)
PLUS, when you enter as the underdog there is nowhere to go but up.....
PLUS, I generally don't want people expecting things from me.... :)
-M.
And to James, do you never feel like you let people down if they overestimate you? Meaning, if your options were to be underestimated (oh well) or overestimated and be a let-down, would you really choose overestimated?
That's a good question. And, ah . . . Well. In most cases, I've found that the way I'm perceived or the way something I did is perceived, the way I (or it) was estimated---that their perception is more influenced by the way they framed things in their head before anything actually happened. But . . .
If I've misrepresented myself, I feel pretty bad.
If the expectations are unreasonable, after dating someone who expected perfection from me and a bit extra to make up for her, I've learned to disregard it.
If I care, I like to be up to what I think I'm capable of. If I don't, I still like to do well. If I think something is unnecessary or just don't see the point, that's when I'll give very little of myself and do it without guilt.
I don't especially want to be over-estimated, but I absolutely can't stand being underestimated. That's when my focus goes from creating something with you to wanting to prove you wrong; they're much different. I'd much rather get the impression that someone thinks I have something to contribute, and that when combined with what they have, makes whatever we had individually very little in comparison. That's my ideal situation. My least ideal is being underestimated.
In my true-to-life situations, when I've delivered something that didn't meet expectations, it usually comes down to misunderstanding than over-expectations. I haven't underperformed, I've just gone in a different direction.
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