It’s common knowlege that chocolate is not good for dogs, so naturally my wife and I were concerned when we discovered my 11 lb. Jack Russell Terrier ate 12 brownies. It took us a while to put the story together, piecing together the clues. About 6pm, we noticed her little pink belly was taunt and distended. She refused dinner. She licked her lips a lot. We were pretty sure she’d gotten into something, but the list of what it could be was extensive; it wasn’t until dessert time that we discovered the batch of brownies had turned up missing. Quelle méchante.
Reba lounged around the apartment for the rest of the evening, legs pushed slightly askew by her bulging belly. So far we hadn’t seen the brownies make a reappearance. When we put her to bed around midnight, Reba yowled and cried in her crate. Fearing that she might detonate a shitstorm of explosive diarrhea and vomit if we kept her confined all night, I was moved by compassion and a desire to not clean up the mess. “Let’s just leave her out tonight, babe,” I said. “If she tries to get up on the bed, we’ll just push her off, it shouldn’t be a big deal.” And it wasn’t. Until about 5am.
Consulting the internet about chocolate consumption in dogs the next morning, we discovered that . . . “As time passes and there's increased absorption of the toxic substance, you'll see an increase in the dog's heart rate, which can cause arrhythmia, restlessness, hyperactivity, muscle twitching, increased urination or excessive panting.” That would explain the manic rampage around our apartment from the hours of 5-8:30am. After the fourth strait lap through our apartment, jumping on and over every piece of furniture we own barking like Bill Cower on Crank, I finally got out of bed and groggily held one end of a rope with Reba spasmodically clamped onto the other. 150 minutes later, she seemed to have taken a slight edge off. She has since been fed a mild laxative, squeezed out several piles of a gooey tar-like substance, and calmed down substantially though her small belly still shows signs of distention. While I am sure that chocolate consumption poses a serious physiological threat to my dog’s life, it’s nothing compared to the carnage which will be visited upon her if she pulls off a repeat performance tonight. Oh, and check out my nasty ankle!
1. This morning about 6h30 during a brief respite from Reba's rampage
2. 10h30 tonight, after working on the car all afternoon
3. Some context
9 comments:
Please tell em you called a vet for your dog and a doctor for yourself. Man, its been a rough couple of days.
Man, as much fun as I'm sure that rampage was NOT, I would love to have seen it.
Ha, yeah . . . Christy and I are gonna get one on video sometime.
I'm waiting for Liam's next installment, man.
Rampage, I remember that game was dull, yet strangely addictive. I could never get to the last level! Grrr!!!! (then again, who knows how many levels it has! I swear its like Galaga!)
James, I hope to alleviate your suffering soon.
Tim, which was your favourite Rampage character?
Dave, when are yall getting a pet to hide from Foxwood management?
Well, I'm too afraid of the rules to break them, although really we'd just be joining the club... lots of cats and dogs around our place already. I think it's because we live in the forgotten corner behind the "barn." Also, we want a Shelty, and I think they cost money... another problem.
Ha! Guess what the word verification is for this comment - "dogys"
it was good talking to you today Micah! I hope your friday finds itself to be a restful one!!
Dave, I say yall get a Bull Mastiff. Something nice and subtle. And if you're already sneaking a dog into your apt, you might as well either rob a bank to get the cash or steal someone else's dog. You're practically in the Mafioso at that point.
The Koala: I was definitely glad to have the opportunity myself. Look out! = = = ><> . . . Flying fish!
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